I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
