so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
