sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
