i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
