The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
