Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
