great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
