get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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