i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize