Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
