Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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