We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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