I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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