I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize