My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Watching her eat just hurts me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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