everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize