he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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