Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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