he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
