i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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