you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
