i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
