"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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