Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
