im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
another moral hangover. fuck.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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