Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Too much gin, very little bucket
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
