Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
