i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
