I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
