i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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