I cockslap morals
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize