The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I am one with the molecules
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
