I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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