Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize