HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
