it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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