I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
