Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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