Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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