but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
