A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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