to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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