"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
