We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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