Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
