Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize