I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I am morally bankrupt
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize