STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
