Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We got so high we made milksteak
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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