i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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