He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
