Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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