I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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