Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
