I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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