i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he thought i was a dude.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
